Tuesday, February 17, 2009

LOVE This

No, I did not write this. But, if I would have, this is exactly what I would have said. :) Therefore, that is why I am sharing this wonderfully written post with all of my mommy friends out there...and anyone else who may stumble across my blog.

the mother in me

I've known I wanted to be a mother since the day I was born.

Well, probably not since the actual day I was born. That's a little extreme. But from the time I first knew what a mother was. Or maybe since when I realized that I possessed the genetic makeup to, indeed, be able to become a mother some day.

Regardless, it's been a long time. But it feels like it's been always that I've known that motherhood was for me.

As a young girl, I loved children. And drawing. And baby names. And drawing pictures of children and giving them unique names. I spent countless hours as a child, sitting up in my bed under my pink canopy, using my Trapper Keeper as a hard surface, drawing pictures of all my future children. Oh, and giving them each long, fanciful names, of course.

I was going to have twelve children, I was sure. Naturally, this was before I had any inkling what morning sickness was, had never heard of a nursing bra, forgot that I'd need to find a husband who was up for such a feat, and didn't realize a family of that size would require at least two cargo vans for our transportation.

And, although part of me would honestly, truly love to have twelve children, there are other parts of me that I don't think could handle it. My uterus, for example.

I digress.

I have basically always wanted children. Wanted to be a mother. I thought mothering would be so wonderful, so magical, and so lovely. Naming, dressing and playing with Many Small Children all day long? What could be better!?

And, even though, back then, I was a bit hazy on some of the finer details associated with parenting (you know, like dying llama hissy fits, sippy cups full of mold behind the couch, stretch marks and time outs), I still think I hit the nail on the head.

There is very little that is better than mothering.

But not exactly for the reasons I first thought. Sure, there are wonderful moments in mothering, magical memories created with our offspring, lovely late-night snuggles with heavy-lidded babies. But parenting is also hard work. And it's not glamorous. We don't often get the support we need, we struggle with mother's guilt and sometimes feel we need to keep up with the Jones'. Our children sass back and our best-laid plans are trampled on. We must often face our own shortcomings, because they are revealed to us so readily as we make attempts, but fail, at being perfect parents.

But there is good that can be brought forth from the hurt that parenting sometimes brings. Moments of revelation to be found even amidst the clamor of Many Small Children. Beauty to be derived out of the ashes of mother failure. Joy that can only be discovered in helping God create another human being. There is meaning in the mundane, a purpose beyond potty-training, and a peace that can only be gained when one has learned to calmly deal with a tantruming toddler at Target.

Having children is worth it. And, although I was inspired to start my family for one reason, Prince Charming and I have continued for another.

I love making our family.

But I don't love it for the dirty diapers, the sleepless nights, the cracked nipples or the endless whining. I don't love it for the dings in our walls, the screeching down the halls or the midnight calls.

I love it in spite of all that. And I love mothering for how wading through all the difficulties that mothering brings transforms me for the better.

Mothering is one of the toughest, most beautiful things I have ever done.

And it's totally worth it.

I desire to be an encouragement to others about starting their own family. And, to those who already have, I long to be a support, and never a hindrance, in their journey to discover exactly how wonderful parenting is.

6 comments:

Lacey said...

Yes, definitely well written. I can remember praying as a child that I would live long enough to be a mommy and I was young....elementary school for sure. A beautiful written post..thanks for sharing it.

My Home - My Life said...

I am going to read that a second time. Hubby and I do not have kids yet but someday definitely want to start a family. Your words are very encouraging and I can tell they are honest and from the heart - thanks for sharing.

Toni said...

This is so sweet! I remember naming my babies long before I even knew how babies were made! Watching Kate take care of her babies and love on Carter shows me that it is something God has put in little girls from the start!

stephanie said...

so sweet. there truly is nothing better!

The Peterson's said...

Hey girl! I don't actually know Misty Straley- she found me through your blog or someone else's but it's because brian knew her and her sister growing up so she connected to say hi. :)

I think I met her once when we were dating but it's been a long time.

Kelly Marler said...

There is one thing just as much if not more wonderful than being a mother and that is being a wife...but they both are the greatest gifts we are challenged with daily. You are a great mom and wife...and God will bless you for doing His will through you. The nipples go back to normal, but the time(bond) you spent looking upon that adorable face talking to him/her will never be forgotten. They may not remember but you will forever!! God has allowed you to shine into their lives and you are doing it!!